• Mel Watts

TWO LEAKY TITS AND A TIN OF FAILURE.




I wasn’t really going to share my choices on how I choose to feed my baby this time. I felt as though there is enough shaming with mothers that I didn’t feel like I would need or want anyone else’s opinions on my choices due to what my mental health is like after the births of my babies.       

But you see opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one. Including me. 

I received an email a couple of weeks back which really sat with me. It made me disappointed in our health care systems. It really made me feel as though we're letting a lot of women down out there and unless something is done we – you me and everyone else do something the statistics for postnatal depression and anxiety are just going to keep rising. This lady was beside herself. Baby number two and her journey wasn’t going to plan with BF and she was looking for some kind of guidance. 


Now let me give you some information before I get all sorts of opinions that don’t agree with me.

I’m happy for people not to agree but like I’ve always said there is no need to be nasty.

I’m a pro boobie feeder! I’ll watch you do it and wonder how. I’ll ask questions and I’ll sit there and think how beautiful it really is. I’ve actually been squirted in the face with my friends breast milk – I’m that pro boobie milk. Actually, we were highly intoxicated at the time.

Breast is best! You can’t deny it. You can say it isn’t if it makes you feel better. But the facts and the science based around it shows that it is best for baby. It's a shame that there isn't as much support for women who do want to breast feed. As in lactation nurses that come out the day you leave the hospital and stay in contact with visits and phone calls until a well established BF "routine" has been made. I honestly think this is where the issues start. I remember saying to Nolan "why isn't there a midwife who can come out at night time and help me?" Because of course most issues arise after business hours and you start to fret. 

Fed is best. This is actually a slogan made from a formula advertising company, I'm sure I read it somewhere or was told it. Pretty shitty hey?! Considering I use to throw this around all the time. Look I truly believe fed is best – but I also think fed and breast is best. Actually SUPPORT IS BEST. 

Why can't we all start our own movement and make a stand for what truly matters, support.


It’s actually illegal to advertise any forms of formula before toddler milk can be introduced. Now, this shits me. The amount of times I’ve spent stressing in the aisle of Coles wondering what to buy because I didn’t understand what AR, HA, Anti reflux, Thickener, Goats milk, added this and added that, XYZ added (okay, maybe not the last part ) but seriously its overwhelming and causes so much more pressure. Here’s a tip for anyone looking for formula go to the chemist and find someone to help you. Unless its 10 PM and you’ve just screamed at your poor husband to go down the road and buy a tin of failure - I mean formula buy regular simple formula until you can see a professional. Here are some I’ve used and seen that aren’t for any special dietary requirements. Nan comfort 1, Bellamys organic, Karicare plus, S26. Just buy one and get help in the morning. However, I’m not a professional! Best thing is that in the morning maybe after a good nights rest and a happy baby you may want to stop the formula and restart breast feeding - mixed feeding even. There are so many choices. 

Anyway see how I’ve used the word failure?

Because I guarantee you that’s how 92% of woman feel when we get a can for the first time. Every single baby I’ve had I’ve tried. And I’ve hated it! There I said it. I hated breast feeding! It was overwhelming, it made me incredibly anxious, I felt sick, I panicked and I felt like if I couldn’t do it I don’t deserve to be a mother as many women would do anything for this moment. Each failed attempt didn’t make me feel at ease knowing my last baby survived and thrived off formula, nope each failed attempt felt like a stab in the heart and played with my head. I’ll attach the blog post link below I wrote when I decided to stop feeding Indie as it was this post that someone emailed me about saying they always go back and read it for reassurance. I still feel the emotion that I felt when I wrote that.

This time I went in for my midwife admission and I was asked again “Are you going to breastfeed?” I smirked and tried to think of ways to say no. I felt like this lady was going to get angry and I was letting her down but I lied and said “I’ll try” full well knowing I actually have  ZERO intentions to try again. When really she most likely doesn’t care. She’d offer support if I say no or yes  and I would’ve saved her 15 minutes for a breast exam.

I know every baby deserves to be breast fed.

I know every baby is different from the last.

I know there are people out there willing to help me.

But the truth is that I don’t want help this time and though I have a new different baby I still have my head that fills with anxious thoughts and guilt before it even happens.

Look what’s my advice for first time mothers or even second….. Try breast feeding. Really give it a go and seek help. It is amazing for the baby and such an achievement for you. You should never just not give it a go. Though if you’ve tried and you’re trying to find some form of comfort in knowing if your decision was a good one know that as long as you are happy with the choice you made for YOUR baby then that’s all that matters. People may grunt and glare but who really gives two leaky boobs and a tin of formula! There is so much more in this world to worry about.

And if you’re just a baby making machine like myself at this point you know what you want to do. Breastfeed or don’t.

My children don’t go to school with badge on saying “I wasn’t breastfed” and my children’s milestones have been achieved before or slightly after than normal. My kids are social and besides that eating poop moment, not yet known psychopaths (That’s a terrible joke).

They play with a bunch of children who I don’t really give two leaky boobs or a tin of formula on how they were reared. Of course there are times my children get coughs, colds and allergies and I think “Shit is this because they didn’t get there shot of liquid gold?” but then I realise kids are kids. No matter how loved and cared for they are, they’re feral. They slobber on each other, eat snot and don’t wash their hands half the time. And whilst I was nursing when I asked people for their medical background we didn't ask if they were BF or not. Because life simply goes on.

We’re all doing this parenting gig together.

We need to stop shaming parents for making the choices they made for their child. Before we make judgement we should ask ourselves:

Does it affect us?

Does it cause harm to the child?

What would your opinion do? Will it be beneficial or judgemental?

What headspace is that parent in right now? Are they depressed? Are they anxious? Are they confused?

We put enough pressure on ourselves already – don’t be the reason someone doesn’t feel like can confide in anyone because they’re worried about what you’d say.

Be their reason for knowing they’re doing a fabulous job!




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©2019 by mel watts